


a journey to where

by trouvqille



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Explicit Sexual Content, Hux Loves Alcohol, Internal Conflict, M/M, Minor Poe/Hux, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:48:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25613839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trouvqille/pseuds/trouvqille
Summary: Armitage Hux is just trying to get through life. He has a fiancé, a job that pays well and he is only somewhat bored with his existence. Perhaps a text from his ex-boyfriend, whom he dated during university, reminding him of a pact the two of them had made years prior, is just the excitement Hux needs, or maybe his entire life will start going downhill once Kylo Ren comes back into the picture.Inspired by the HBO series Run.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 138





	a journey to where

** Hux | Present Day **

"Fuck you, Hux! You know, all you ever-"

The entire framework surrounding the apartment door shook as it was slammed shut. Hux was rarely a violent man, but all he could feel as his hands trembled was his blood rushing throughout his body.

The muffled insults thrown at him by his fiancé didn't even register inside his brain, he wasn't even aware that he was walking out of the building until he felt the gush of cold London air hit his face; causing his cheeks to become rosy and his nose to start leaking.

The breach from Spring to Summer was a slow one in England, but Hux was used to the warming afternoons and bitter evenings.

Hux started to wrap around his torso the grey jacket he had hastily grabbed while escaping from Poe's rising anger, as he continued to walk down the eerily quiet street in no particular direction.

His meanderings took him past a newsstand, where a variety of newspapers sat spread along the shelves and to his dismay his own face stared back at him from the front pages. 

> **_BIG LOSS FOR YOUNG LAWYER ARMITAGE HUX!_ **
> 
> **_HIS WINNING STREAK HAS BEEN BROKEN, READ ALL ABOUT IT!_ **
> 
> **_IS THIS THE END OF A PROMISING CAREER FOR OUR FAVOURITE DEFENSE LAWYER?_ **

Hux commended himself on how well he controlled his anger in the face of his failure, even though it was a different story earlier today as the memory of his wrecked office drifts back into the front of his mind.

He had thought his witness was ready, but they had snapped on the stand during cross-examination and after the display they had put on for the jury; all hope for winning was lost for one of Hux's biggest cases. 

Letting an audible sigh pass his lips, he took a sharp right and entered the nearest bar he could set his eyes on. Sleeping blackout drunk on the pavement seemed more appealing to him than returning home, so he flagged down the bartender and requested a line of shots.

The man that stood behind the counter had not peeped a word since he got there, but Hux could feel the judgement radiating off him. It didn't bother him; he had had enough judgement for a lifetime after today's events. 

Time seemed to trudge on, as Hux downed his fifth, or perhaps sixth _,_ shot of the evening. It didn't even matter at this point; he was willing to try anything that helped distract himself from thinking about his failing career and apparently his now failing relationship.

Poe should have known how bad of a mood he would find his partner in on his return home that evening, but he would not stop nagging about things Hux had no interest in thinking about at the time. Why does the colour of the napkins at his wedding matter when his professional life could soon be in tatters if he didn't bounce back from his loss?

His arm drooped upwards in an attempt to order yet another drink, but the bartender gave him one look that could’ve clearly been interpreted as _Nice try,_ and Hux was forced to lay his head on his crossed arms which leaned on the counter in front of him and wallow in his self-pity.

Soon the alcohol hazed his brain over, and his muscles relaxed from the tense state they had found themselves in throughout the entire day. Hux idly poked at the bowl of chips he had ordered who knows how long ago and contemplated whether to move to another bar or just stay sat in this exact spot until he was forced to leave. 

Before he could make a decision, he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket.

Poe hadn't even attempted to ring him up to this point, and if the text was not an apology then Hux may just spend the rest of the week sleeping on Phasma's couch, which he had been doing more frequently as his arguments with his fiancé intensified with each passing day.

Fumbling like the drunk man he was, he eventually ripped the blasted phone from his pocket.

His eyes were glassy so it took him a few dumbfound moments of blinking at this screen before he could properly digest what sat in from of him.

> _Kylo_
> 
> _7:34 pm_ | **FIRSTORDER** _._

Hux's mouth went dry.

-|-

** Hux | 10 Years Ago**

His iron grip loosened on Kylo's thigh, bringing his head up with a gasping breath and resisting the urge to wipe the dribble of cum that spilt from the corner of his lips, Kylo loved it when he looked debauched.

Drunk Hux didn't mind it as much as sober Hux would.

As for his partner, the stupidly big man had finally come to his senses after recovering from the quite amazing blowjob that Hux had just given him if, he did say so himself.

A lazy hand reached out and pushed the escaping release back into Hux's mouth which he eagerly lapped up and swallowed.

"God, you're going to... make me hard again." Kylo groaned, slurring through his words.

Why the two of them had decided to get wasted on a Tuesday night, despite the fact they both had classes the next day, the answer to that eluded Hux.

His knees creaked as he rose from his kneeling position in front of Kylo, having spent himself inside his own pants he was too inebriated to feel embarrassed, but he saw the smirk which formed across Kylo's lips.

"Shut up," Hux mumbled, retreating into the bathroom with a clean pair of pyjama bottoms.

Once he had freshened himself up and thrown his spoiled clothes into the laundry hamper, he returned to the bedroom, ready to collapse into his boyfriend's arms and worry about his hangover when it hit him like a ton of bricks in the morning.

Kylo had seemingly only managed to pull up his jogging bottoms and lie back against the mountain of pillows Hux owned, looking as though he were in deep thought.

Hux crawled into the space next to the other, Kylo at least had the sense of mind to pull him onto his chest and play with his copper hair.

"What has you so lost in your own head?" Hux yawned, the edges of sleep creeping into his voice.

"You." Hux rolled his eyes. "I love you."

Hux felt the familiar feeling of tightness clutch at his chest, his head felt even lighter and it wasn't just because of how much he had had to drink. 

This certainly was not the first time Kylo had said those three words to him, nor was it the first time Hux responded to them in kind, but it never failed to elicit a physical fluttering of his entire body whenever he heard them.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Kylo continued after Hux returned the sentiment, "And if not, I want to make sure we won't ever lose each other."

"What do you mean?"

Kylo sat up, bringing Hux with him and arranging them so that they sat crossed legged in front of each other, grasping one another's hands.

Hux looked at him expectantly, Kylo seemed to be gathering his thoughts and thinking about his next words.

"What if..." Kylo hesitated but only briefly, becoming more confident as he continued, "We make a pact, that if we end up breaking up and not speaking to each other in the future or whatever... if we both become bored with our lives and want an escape. What if, we text each other a word and if the other responds with the exact same word, we both drop everything and travel across the country together or something like that."

It took a few moments for Hux to process all the information Kylo had just bombarded him with.

He swallowed hard, meeting those big doe eyes, and wondering what he would even do with himself if he didn't have this oaf in his life.

They had been together for two years now, having begun dating only a month after meeting each other and even a few weeks into the relationship, Hux could never imagine spending the rest of his days with someone else. It never failed to make him chuckle whenever he remembered the fact that they had started off hating each other, having met through the debate team, they often found themselves at each other's necks on the opposite ends of the arguments.

That was until they were quite literally at each other's necks, both harbouring some level of attraction for each other and after a month of snide comments and bickering, the tension snapped, and they were all over one another.

Hux didn't come to university with the intention of finding the love of his life, even if said love of his life drove him up the walls most days, but it is what he found.

With just over a year left of their courses, Kylo with philosophy and himself with law, Hux hadn't even started thinking about life after University.

Well, more like he didn't want to.

He knew that the two of them had different ambitions, ambitions which would lead them down two very different paths and to two very different places. It had been a sore topic between them and after a few attempted conversations about their future, which had failed horribly, they just stopped touching the subject.

However, Kylo seemed to have put a great amount of thought into it.

"Kylo..." Hux finally breathed out, as he felt his heart hammering in his chest.

"The word can be anything..." Kylo eyes darted around the expanse of Hux's room, before landing on the singular poster he owned, which Kylo had actually gotten him as a gift, "First Order, that can be the word."

First Order was perhaps the only band that both he and Kylo enjoyed, finding music that accommodated both of their tastes was extremely difficult and discovering their music had been a godsend.

"First Order is two words." Hux raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Then we will make it one, FirstOrder as a singular word, we text that to each other and we have to run away."

Hux chewed his bottom lip lightly, his mind was sobering up and he could tell Kylo was being serious about this, not just some idle suggestion.

"Come on, strawberry, I don't want to lose you, ever." 

The pet name had its effect, as it always did.

"Alright, but where would we travel to?" 

Kylo had tightened his grip on Hux's hands, excitement and relief washed over his face as he leant forward to place a soft kiss against Hux's cheek.

"Ireland. You always said your family owns a house there that's empty. We can meet at Euston Station, in front of the Robert Stephenson statue and take the train and ferry."

"That is around thirteen hours of travelling," Hux said warily. 

He hadn't been to Ireland since he was dragged away by his father at the age of five, leaving behind his biological mother to grow up in the cold environment Brendol and his wife Maratelle created for him.

More than once he has had to stop Kylo from travelling down to London and finding his father, especially after Hux revealed to him the extent of the abuse he suffered at his hand.

Brought out of his thoughts by warm fingers being brushed against his cheek, he focused his attention back onto the conversation.

"Thirteen hours travelling with a grown-up sexy version of you doesn't sound like such a bad time to me," Kylo smirked slightly.

"Are you saying I am not sexy, now?" Hux feigned offence as Kylo chuckled deeply.

Hux should have been offended by how little faith Kylo seemed to have about them staying together, but he was not stupid. Hux prided himself on being a realist and he knew the reality he faced, that in a year he was going to have to move on with his life and plunge himself into his career, Kylo the same.

"Promise me you will, promise me that if we do text it to each other, you will come to meet me." Kylo voice had gone back to serious, his eyes shining over with the fear of rejection.

Hux took a deep breath.

"I promise."

-|-

** Hux | Present Day **

The crashing noise didn't register in his brain until he went to go look back at his phone screen and found it was no longer gripped in his hand but had slipped free from his grasp and fallen to the floor.

A few people glanced over at him curiously as he leant down to retrieve it, but he paid them no mind.

With shaking hands, he reread that word, which was really two words, over and over. He hadn't even listened to that band in years, ever since Poe said he found their music to be absolute garbage when he had first walked in on Hux listening to it.

Why now?

Was it as though Kylo could sense he was at the lowest moment in his entire life, sat in a bar alone contemplating what he was even doing, not just at the present moment but overall.

Kylo was always weirdly attuned to his every thought and need, it was like some odd gift.

But what was Kylo's reason for messaging?

Was he also at rock bottom?

A relationship problem?

A shiver of something went up Hux's spine at that thought.

He had not seen Kylo in nine years, the last image of him was a tearful twenty-one-year-old waving Hux off, who also couldn't hold back the tears flowing from his eyes, from Cambridge station platform. Both of them with the knowledge that they were likely never to see one another again and it was the end of the three-year-long relationship they had shared.

It had been Hux in the end who had forced them to sit down and have a proper conversation about what would happen, it was him who suggested that they stay together up until Hux was due to move to London permanently. Kylo just nodded, accepted it and told him that he understood how much Hux's career meant to him.

What wasn't said was that Kylo knew Hux would put his career before him. 

Hux couldn't have denied it.

He had moved to London, took all the courses he needed, passing with flying colours and began his pupillage under an up-tight lawyer called Enric Pryde, a friend of his fathers, and with whom he had a great loathing for, the feeling was mutual.

Spending the compulsory year as Pryde's reluctant protégé, he worked tirelessly and he managed to impress the law firm so much they hired him as soon they were able to.

Nine years flew past, he made a name for himself as a ruthless defence lawyer with a sharp tongue who rarely lost a case, at the prime age of thirty he was one of the youngest, if not the youngest within his field. It was always a point of scrutiny, cause in the eye of all the old assholes who ran the court, age meant experience and wisdom; didn't they get a shock when Hux outwitted them all.

His contact with Kylo over those years slowly subsided until the only messages they exchanged were on birthdays and at Christmas.

He did miss him, he may not think about the other often, but the times that he did were filled with a deep sense of yearning.

Hux lets out a long-exasperated sigh, dropping his phone onto the counter and running his hands through his hair, disrupting the precise neatness he had styled it into this morning.

Did he want this?

He wasn't bound by any promise until he texted Kylo the word back, he didn't have to leave everything and go seek out a man he barely thought about. 

But there was an aching feeling spreading throughout his chest, a longing to do something exciting, to run away from his problems instead of attempting to tackle them like he always did.

Could he?

He was financially stable, if anything he had too much money and enough holiday time that he could disappear for months. 

The perks of being a workaholic, he supposed.

However, he had a life. 

His engagement ring sat heavily on his finger and he strained to the mentally block out the day he was given it.

If he went to Kylo, would he expect them to get back together? 

Was Hux that immoral he would stoop to cheating?

His mind provided helpful images of Poe in all different contexts, laughing at a movie, singing whilst he cooked, smirking as he made Hux moan.

He did love his partner, but he knew what he had with Poe never managed to satisfy him the way being with Kylo had.

But perhaps Kylo just wanted to travel as friends, just needed some time away from the partner he may or may not have, Hux, can't presume anything.

In the beginning, he kept up with Kylo on social media, but the habit died out when he saw the other get into a relationship and Hux was presented with the life he could've had and it all became a bit too more for him to handle.

Would it be awkward?

He hoped not.

Kylo was the one person he had felt the most comfortable around, he had never felt more himself when he spent time with him and the other was his stability throughout the whole of university.

Kylo knew all his dirty little secrets, all the aspects about himself that he would never disclose to anyone else; some of them not even to Poe.

Maybe it would be good for him to feel like he belonged again, even just for a little while.

Another sigh escaped from his lips, his eyes glared holes into his phone and before his brain could catch up with his body, he had swiped up the stupid device from the counter.

> _Hux_
> 
> _7:55 pm_ | **FIRSTORDER.**

Suddenly, his collar felt like it was too tight, he could barely breathe and his whole body was practically vibrating. 

He had really just done that.

> _Kylo_
> 
> _7:56 pm_ | **see u soon strawberry ;)**

He let out a shaky laugh, this time nearly everyone around him turned to face him but before anyone could ask what he found so funny he was on his feet and stumbling out the door.

Maybe he was going insane, but as he hailed the next cab that wandered down the street. He felt better than he had in months, perhaps even years, and the euphoria carried for the entire journey from Kensington to Euston Station.

London passed by in a blur of colours, browns merged into greens and the darkening backdrop of the sky all wisped past Hux as he leant his head against the cool window and attempted to collect his scattered thoughts.

The closer he got to that fateful station, the more his mind drifted back to his time with Kylo.

Their relationship had been intense, almost too much for two eighteen-year-olds to handle at first, however, they had fit together so well; a prime example of opposites attract.

Hux snorted.

Their misguided hate in the first month of knowing each other amused him to no end, how stupid they were that they were covering lust for one another behind spewing insults and debates they hadn't much of an interest in unless they could use it to get at each other.

Hux could believe they would've ended up killing each other if it didn't go in the complete opposite direction.

-|-

**Hux | 12 Years Ago**

"Kylo and Armitage, you can both tidy up today."

Hux had to will himself to stop the groan that formed in his throat to slip from his lips.

"Yes, Professor," He replied gruffly, Kylo also mumbling something along the same lines. 

His teacher could have chosen any other person for Hux to clear up with after debate club, anyone, even Mitika. He could stand his classmate's awful attempts at flirting with him if it meant not spending another second in the presence of Kylo.

He was still reeling back from the shouting match that had just occurred between them, about a debate topic he couldn't even recall.

It was as though Kylo's single purpose in life was to anger Hux whilst simultaneously making him more and more attracted to him.

Snoke was fully aware of their rivalry and seemed to encourage it, judging by the smug look on the ancient bastard's face as he said those words.

The room slowly filtered out as Hux set to work, trying to be quick and efficient as he scooped up papers that were strewn about the desks. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Kylo moved towards the whiteboard, wiper in his hand.

"You know you're supposed to use the spray as well." He couldn't help himself, his mouth two steps ahead of his brain, Kylo tended to have that effect on him.

He got a sharp glare in return, the other stalked towards him and for a moment Hux's heart rate increased and his lips parted slightly.

Alas, no smashing of the mouths occurred and Hux allowed himself to feel disappointed as he watched Kylo lean over to swipe the cleaning spray from the desk next to him.

Hux was about to turn back to his task but was halted as he felt a puff of liquid being squirted at his face, the antiseptic stench hitting his nose straight after.

Kylo stood there, the biggest most childish grin on his face as he watched Hux's jaw drop and rage pool into his features.

"How... dare you!" Hux spluttered out, "You ... you act like an insolent child, you do realise you are at university, not in high school still?"

That wiped the smirk off of the others face.

"Yeah? Well, at least I can have a bit of fun." Kylo said darkly, his features pulling down as Hux watched his grip tightened on the bottle.

"Fun?" He snorted, chucking the papers in his hand to the side and crossing his arms defiantly, "I may not have a lot of time for fun, but at least I am not lazy, at least I make it to classes and at least my parents don't have to come in weekly to discuss my failing grades!"

The tension could be cut with a knife, both of them sharing equally heated glares and Hux couldn't stop himself from jumping when Kylo slammed the items in his hand down onto the closest surface.

"Take the fucking stick out of your ass, _Armie_ ," He jeered, almost snarling, the nickname mockingly spat out, "Better yet, get someone to take it out for you. Maybe a good lay will help with your shitty attitude."

Hux gawked at him, cheeks reddening before he could even stop the blood from rushing there, Kylo took a confident step forward but Hux refused to yield and step back.

"Y-you..." He couldn't form words, "I... I have never met someone in my entire life so arroga- _Ah!"_

Through his attempt at gaining some sort of control over the situation, Hux had failed to notice Kylo close the short distance between them and his sentence was cut off by the slightly taller male grabbing his head and yanking their faces together; lips clashing.

For a few seconds, Hux just stood there in utter shock, he was almost tempted to pinch himself just to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep during class and fallen into another of his persistent dreams.

No, this was definitely real and happening.

A prod of Kylo's tongue against his lips snapped him back to reality, causing Hux to melt and a small moan to escape his lips as he finally started to reciprocate.

The kiss was almost too good, their mouths dancing together in some sort of intense passionate performance. It held a lot of weight, every spitting match they had ever had, all the tension that had been building over the past month or so finally came crashing down into this one piece of contact.

Both their hands grasped at each other, pulling at clothes or hair, skirting over flushed skin; Hux could barely think. 

All blood had rushed down south, his dick slowly but surely pressing against the inside of his trousers as they continued mouthing hotly at one another. Hux shivered as Kylo trailed wet kisses along his jaw and down his neck, mumbling incoherently into the skin there before working his way back to his lips. 

It barely registered in his brain as he was backed up onto the nearest desk, as Kylo hastily unbuckled Hux's belt, pulled his zipper down and let his dick spring free from the confinement of his underwear; doing the same for himself and taking them both in his huge hand, working them to full hardness.

" _Fuck_..." It came out as a high-pitched whine from Hux as he pulled back from the overwhelming kiss, it was all he could say, was all he could do as Kylo set an almost brutal pace stroking their leaking lengths.

"Wanted... to do this... for so long, god you are so hot..." Kylo managed between pants, Hux bucked up into his fist, could feel the beginnings of release pooling in his stomach.

The friction of their cocks rubbing together along with the feeling of Kylo's calloused hand had Hux short-circuiting, wrapping his fingers through the other's hair and holding on tightly as Kylo urged them both closer and closer to their finish.

At one point, they both caught each other's eye and the breathy _Hux_ that Kylo whispered into the thick air between them had Hux coming into the other's palm, it was perhaps the best orgasm he ever had and seemed to last for too long. Strings of moans and profanities escaped his lips and he was vaguely aware of Kylo shuddering out his own release a few seconds after his.

His mind was fogged over as he sagged back, letting the desk hold almost all his weight, watching with a dazed expression as Kylo grabbed the discarded cloth meant for the whiteboard and cleaned them both up. 

The realisation of where they were hit Hux and he flushed profusely at the thought that anyone could have just walked in on them, it's what stirred his brain back into action as he rucked his trousers back up and attempted to fix his appearance.

Glancing up, Kylo had done the same and was now staring at him intently, Hux swallowed, unsure how to proceed.

What did this mean for them?

Would they just go back to constant arguments and forget it ever happened?

Was Kylo just going to leave him here and not say anything?

"Hey," It was uttered so softly that Hux wasn't even sure if it was said, he broke away from his internal worrying and locked eyes with Kylo who raised a tentative hand and placed it on the side of his face, he instantly leaned into the contact.

"How about I take you out for dinner?" Kylo said with a small smirk, absentmindedly stroking at Hux's cheek.

Hux couldn't stop the smile that spread across his lips, sighing happily, he nodded.

"I would like that, very much."

-|-

**Hux | Present Day**

"Sir, we are here." The rough voice of the cab driver drew Hux from his reminiscing, withdrawing his hand from his face where his fingers had started to rub against his cheek longingly.

Clearing his throat, he paid the driver and made his way back out into the chilly night; walking up a few stairs and slowly passing by the various shops that lined the walkway.

Would Kylo be there already?

He wasn't even sure where the other was travelling from.

Entering the courtyard lined with tables that sat outside the entrance of the station, Hux could see _the_ statue.

He let out a shuddering breath before casting his eyes around the vicinity.

No sign of Kylo.

Hux wandered over to the looming sculpture, the name of the man locked somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn't recall it. He knew it was the right place, well at least from what he could see this was the only statue around. He leant against the ice-cold marble and tried to get his breathing under control, out of habit he dug into his coat pocket and extracted a half-empty pack of cigarettes.

Smoking was something he had picked up only in recent years, as stress from work and his personal life had gained in momentum, every year since starting he swore he would stop.

He has yet to.

Gently placing the death stick between his lips, he lit it and took a drag; relief almost instantly rushing through his body. He tipped his head back, the smoke swirling in circles around him as he took a couple more slow tokes; pretending as though his life wasn't about to be majorly disrupted.

But the thoughts creep into the edge of his mind, he could never quiet the constant hum of his brain, always thinking, always working.

He needs to contact work for days off, needs to make sure Millicent will be looked after...

Make sure that Poe doesn't panic too much.

Hastily, he slips the ring off that adorns his finger and pockets it.

He shuts off his thinking about his fiancé with another long drag from the cigarette.

"Since when did you have a death wish?" A deep familiar voice came from his right side, causing Hux to jump and choked on the bitter smoke that lingered in the back of his throat.

He must look great, really flattering. 

It got so bad he had to place his hands on his thighs and lean over, coughing for a whole minute before finally getting his breathing back under control.

The sight that met him when he composed himself was a smirking man who seemed to take up the entire courtyard with his size. He straightened up and cleared his throat as if nothing had happened.

"What a wonderful greeting that was," Kylo's voice was playful as Hux levelled him with a glare.

Out of spite, Hux took another puff, his eyes watering as he did, before throwing the cigarette onto the ground and stomping it out.

"Since when did you become to be so quiet when walking?" Hux bit back, but he couldn't help letting a small grin formed upon his lips.

So, here they were at last.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you mari for beta reading some of this <3
> 
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated!
> 
> you can find me on instagram | trouvqille.


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